my alter ego

thank you

2010-10-14T13:43:00.002+08:00

i realized i RARELY post a picture either of myself or with me in it in my blog.
since ive decided that this would be the last ever post for my blog, i thought
i should commemorate this insignificant event with a little something.

just so you all remember how this little blogger look like (:

spotlights

2010-10-05T15:10:00.006+08:00

tuesday

2010-09-29T17:50:00.016+08:00

that one nadiah tengah action.
this week was suppose to be a mega happy week for me because
there are no assignments but as usual my happiness always short-live.
new assignment coming in tomorrow ): ): ): SIGH...

just because

2010-09-24T22:26:00.003+08:00

this is my kind of fun.

wishful thinking

2010-09-03T13:41:00.008+08:00

Versace

Karen Millen

Marc by Marc Jacobs

Dooney and Bourke

Topshop

okay i love these bags to death. BUT because i am such a poor kid who lives on
bread and homemade food, i think ill just get the last one. actually also because i
have the card to get 10% off. wait. 10% only? hey come to think of it, even if
i were a rich kid, i wouldnt blow my money on bags. i promise. but then again,
maybe i might just walk around town and throw my notes up in the air just so
people would crawl under me, to pick them up and at the same time, kiss the
ground i walk upon. apart from being a rich ass kid, ill also get credit for my
utmost generosity.

nadiah

2010-09-02T10:10:00.003+08:00

how we perceive

2010-08-29T04:40:00.008+08:00

though dried and wilted, i find them breathtakingly beautiful...
it is just a matter of perceptions just like you are to me. and me to you.

pretty things (three)

2010-08-24T14:52:00.005+08:00

sadly, these carnival pictures do not reflect my life
because i am not as exciting, coloful and interesting like that.
but at least i am happy (:

WHY?

2010-08-13T13:57:00.003+08:00

why cant life be simple. it is such a short and wonderful thing
tainted with famine, war, hatred, heartbreaks, changes. if only we
all live in a world with no pain, where we fleet with the stars and dance
on air - the outerspace. where we can experience wonders beyond
human comprehension. where we wouldnt be bound by the constraints
of physicality. where there is no existence of time and where the stars
and moon are an arm length away.
but then, we wouldnt learn.

miaomiao

2010-08-06T18:19:00.004+08:00

he he he how adorable is that!

a hard time

2010-08-05T23:26:00.002+08:00

useless little things that define me. silly little characters that make
me, me. this fear, it is eating me up. it is controlling my life, taking
away my freedom of choice. my liberty. my well-being. my rational
side. it is feeding on me. and the worst part is im letting it, leaving it
alone to manifest this entire being. slowly but surely. i seem to be giving
up, not doing anything to gain back control of my life. wait.
what exactly is that fear again? i have not the slightest idea. a fear so so
complex, so deep inside me that no words can do justice to describe it. such
terrible thing living inside me. something deeper than the deepest ocean.
how do i rid it? no... how can i even rid it? a silent killer like no other.
robbing me of everything. taking away every single ounce of courage and
confidence in me. turning me into helpless and hopeless little creation that
walk the earth with no sense, no direction. am i exaggerating? i think not.
i have always wanted to explain this but i couldnt. i just couldnt find the
right words to describe this torment i more than so often experience each
time i have to go through something unfamiliar. something new. something
i have never done before. something... different. can you feel me now?

pretty things (two)

2010-07-23T23:57:00.012+08:00

letters to sam is a really really good read, i promise.

SIGH

2010-07-15T00:58:00.003+08:00

feeling really really horrible right now. thats not the only thing that is horrible
because right at this moment i look super horrible too. like horrendous.
i have no idea why (but dont i always have none?) but i feel so lousy tonight.
and this feeling just came like 30 minutes ago. i feel like a nutcase now.
i cant stop thinking about tomorrow. apart from a nutcase, im like a total
loser. i kind of suffer from unnecessary paranoia and its really really bad.
to the max infact. it robs me of my sleep and my confidence. but then again,
dont i always have issues with my confidence? im so wrong. everything about
me is wrong. from what i wear to the way i say hi to people. if i could write a book
right now, i would title it "the 5 wrong things you meet in earth" with the things
being me and times that by 5. because i am just so wrong like that.
i hope im wrong.

a retard

2010-07-08T00:15:00.004+08:00

have you ever been surrounded by people but still feel so alone and so small?
i cant make friends with people easily. it is a known fact, maybe even a problem,
for me. okay maybe i can make friends but being friends, thats when the real challenge
kicks in, i am an anti-social, i know, and i need no reminder for that. sometimes, i try
not to be one but the harder that i try, the more it backfires on me and then i feel even
worst inside. inside. yes inside. its a feeling deep down my heart. a place where noone,
sometimes even myself can reach and truly understand. i really want to open up more,
meet new people and not have this invisible barrier in between us. a barrier that makes me
feel afraid to even look at the person in the eye, let alone speak. it is really an irony why i am
in a media course. it is ironic that this anti-social-shy-low-self-esteem-no-confident girl could
be interested in a field that requires her to meet, talk and shake alot of strangers hands when
she cant even give a proper hi when she meets imans friend.
life oh life. or should it be yanti yanti yanti tsk tsk tsk.
sigh, anyway, my name is nur haryanti and welcome to my life. as a total retard.

two souls

2010-07-03T15:23:00.001+08:00

You will be the notes that complete my bar
Ill be the strings on your guitar
If youre a bee, ill be the flower
A boat you are, ill be the river
And if i was a night, youll be my light

tmgtchi

2010-06-21T15:51:00.001+08:00

boom boom pow!

feeling crafty

2010-06-17T15:46:00.006+08:00

apart from having a love-hate relationship with my life sometimes, i also have the same issue
with my hair. normally it takes a really short period of time for it to grow out but somehow its
taking such a looooong time for it to grow now. why eh? and right at this moment, i pretty much
hate my hair. you know how i often ponder over whether i should cut the whole thing short or
maybe just be more patient and let it grow on its own sweet time. i will probably hate myself
and my hair even more if i cut it short so im guessing patient is the way to go for now. but then
again, patient, though a virtue, is not my kinda thing. if there is any one impatient person out
there, it has to be me. and when i say i am impatient, i cant wait for anyone for longer than 5
minutes before i get totally pissed with him/her but usually tell them "its okay" when i really am
bursting to say "F you! youre late!" hais, this, i need to work on getting better ):

unfortunately

2010-06-15T23:41:00.008+08:00

honestly, i have been pretty upset with my compact camera. it is only 3 year old and its
performance has been lacking. well either that or it is the photographer la but i choose the
former. the pictures are always off focused and i have no clue why. then again, its probably
because my photography knowledge is only that much. but then again again, it doesnt take
a rocket scientist to know how to focus. sigh. i cant wait for friday because then i will be bringing
the even older dslr out. i hope it wont fail me. recently i havent been taking any nice photos!
i also havent been spending much time with my cameras which i think is bad especially when
i love photography so much and im not so good in it. which brings me to another thing -
i have also been neglecting my film cameras. i need to do something about this. pronto.
and oh, if you were wondering whats with the strawberries eh, well, nothing. i went to the
supermarket today and got them so i could make some au natural strawberry juice, sugar free,
he he he! but one word of advice - get korean strawberries because its not sour nyum nyum, so
dont have to worry about adding sugar so that it tastes better.
strawberry juice. the detox juice drink!

and lastly, i would like to introduce my readers here to the coolest vintage ring i have ever seen.
i am so madly in love with this. it got me right at the moment i set my eyes upon it. and not only
am i the proud owner of this beautiful ring, i am also the proud maker of it (:
take that!

oh well

2010-06-10T00:06:00.004+08:00

so i was thinking. religious obligations aside, there are a couple of stuffs that i really wish
to achieve before i die. stuffs such as getting a degree cert with something that goes like:
graduate with distinction

it is actually not so hard to achieve that but looking at how i have fared for my previous
2 trimesters, things are not looking too good for me. 8 modules down, i have like another...
16 more to go. hmm, maybe if i get distinctions for all 16, i would definitely have no problem
getting that. but then again, its not at all logical for me to get 10 distinctions, let alone 16.
so maybe i should focus more on other stuffs that are within my achievement limit.
like... have a photo i take published in the papers?

sigh

2010-05-31T13:18:00.005+08:00

okay, more assignments are pouring in already...
i have an individual presentation next week on media law and i swear i have no
freaking idea what to do. i emailed my lecturer last week and up till now she still
havent replied me yet. so i just wanna take this opportunity here to say
what the f! to her. okay now, WTF! there.

but no point sitting here alone infront of this screwed laptop and cursing
repeatedly under my breath. i might as well get my lazy butt out of this house
for some breather.... wait. did i just say breather? omg breather? i must be crazy!
there are so much assignments that i cant even get anywhere near the letter 'b' in breather!

i have to say this

2010-05-28T00:07:00.003+08:00

looking up at the black night sky made me realize just how just small we are...
we are nothing more than just insignificant little things created by the great one
to live in this world so vast. a world filled with nothing but sins.
we ALL live in sin...

how could there be a proportion of the population not have a religion?
how could they be free thinkers? how could they not ask of their creator?
there are so many questions in this world that is beyond human's knowledge and
intelligence to answer... so there IS god. and god is Allah.

2010-05-24T15:07:00.002+08:00

i am almost 21. that, in other words, means i am no longer a child. or even a teen.
i cant believe i told myself i had to be at least 160 by 16. im hardly 156 now and im
already past a fifth of a century. the problem isnt not growing taller.
the problem is my expectation.
sometimes we aim for something that is beyond our abilities, beyond our standard.
something that is far beyond our reach. but as humans we constantly make this mistake.
not once or twice but probably almost all the time. we dont learn from it either.
but i guess nothing defines us as humans more than our willingness to pursue something
that is beyond our standards (faizul, 2010).
LOL.

family

2010-05-18T13:38:00.002+08:00

no words can describe how much i love my two cats. they complete my life.
hamsters, rabbits, birds and fishes are pets. but cats are not pets. they are family.
they come into our lives and give everything they have but expect nothing from us in return
apart from love. they give us loyalty, happiness and unconditional love.
those who see cats as pets are those who never had cats in their lives before.
they bring joy to my life. they make my life richer and fuller and happier.
miko and sutra are not the lucky ones to have found my care.
i was the lucky one to have them in my life because they give me more than i could give them.

chicken fusilli

2010-05-12T21:08:00.007+08:00

before more assignments come pouring in, i thought i should whip up something
nice in the kitchen today. mum went out for lunch with dad.
there is no class today so i had quite some 'me' time just now.

as always, preheat oven first to about 150 degree.
note that this ingredient serves one only.

50g minced chicken

in a pan with just a LITTLE oil, stir fry the minced chicken. add pepper and mixed herbs/spices
(optional) so that it tastes and smells better!

a handful of fusilli

because its only meant for me...a handful is enough. boil for about 10 minutes.
its okay to use other kinds of pasta like macaroni or spaghetti or anything. then place them on a baking bowl.

1 piece of mushroom
a handful of grated parmesan cheese
Leggo's tomato sauce

slice the mushroom thinly. i only used 1 piece as this one was particularly humongous o.O
place the stir-fried minced chicken and sliced mushroom on the boiled pasta. then
just add the sauce over everything topped with the grated cheese.

bake for about 12 minutes.

you can add as much chicken, mushroom, cheese and sauce just as long as it fits the bowl.
the bowl is used is really small, probably about the size of my palm so i ate 2 bowls. haha.
oh and remember to place a thin foil of aluminium in the oven to protect it from (possible)
spillage due to cheese melting.

eat it while its hot!

m&m cookies

2010-04-30T00:39:00.008+08:00

classes resume next week and with one exempted unit, i only have to go to school

for three days a week. thats 12 days a month! or 48 days for the trimester! woo!
have been doing abit of baking lately and i think this is the best of the lot!
m&m cookies. absolutely easy to make. its definitely suitable even for beginners.

preheat oven to 170 degree. grease trays with butter.

1 cup butter (melted)
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar

beat them well. it is not really critical that the butter has to be very melted.
i added less than 1/2 cup of sugar and brown sugar. its just personal preferance.

1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract

mix in with the above and continue beating. after that, add in the dry ingredients.

1/8 tsp salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda/powder
2 1/2 cups plain flour

with a large spoon or something, just mix in the contents.

1 cup of m&ms

and because i am abit greedy, i actually added slightly more than a cup. also, i used
the normal sized m&ms instead of the mini ones because i couldnt found them in ntuc!
at this point, you can also add some coco powder. again, that is just personal preferance.

after mixing everything, using either your own bare hands or spoon, just scoop abit
and line them on your tray. if you want bite size, just a little scoop, maybe a tsp is enough.
as for me, i made them quite big and flattened them a bit.

bake for about 10 to 12 minutes. cool them down under the fan or something.
and enjoy! nom nom nom!

bucket list

2010-04-23T23:02:00.003+08:00

okay so ive seen a couple of journals with bucket lists and i think it is so cool.
so i decided to have one of my own! well the list is as far as i could think of.
i am hoping that at least half of the whole list could be done.

1. get my driving license.
2. after i get that, go on a long road trip in malaysia with friends.
3. see the aurora borealis in the northern hemisphere. aka the northern lights.
4. swim with dolphins. it is okay even if they are the ones from dolphin lagoon, sentosa.
5. get married with a man who can almost worship the ground i walk upon.
6. and have a daughter.
7. name her Tanya. or maybe Tania. not sure about that still. sounds the same.
8. set up my own magazine company.
9. not cut my hair for maybe 5 years. trimming is okay.
10. win a lucky draw. i have never won even one pathetic draw my whole life!
11. play a love song on piano for someone on his/her wedding.
12. land myself a great job, good pay. (before i have my own magazine company).
13. then save up a substantial amount of money so my parents can go backpack around europe for 3 months.
14. save even more money so i can follow them. hahahahah!
15. tell people they are beautiful. and mean it.
16. tell my family i love them every single day. make it a habit.
17. go on a hot air balloon ride.
18. touch a whale. i have no idea where that came from. is that even possible?
19. do volunteer work in a third world country.
20. learn to play proper golf so i can play with my dad.
21. ride a motorbike!!!!
22. ride a helicopter.
23. retire at 45.
24. learn to play the guitar.
25. write with my left hand. neatly.
26. feed all the stray cats i ever see. that means i have to spend a day out with nothing but cat food.

the best people in the whole wide worrrrrrld!
(my dad dont always smile like that. i had no idea......)

FFFF

2010-04-19T00:32:00.009+08:00

thank you ladies.
anyway sorry for the bad pictures. okay now back to film.
okay right now im having a very bad stomach cramp which like goes all the way
up to my ribcage?!! its so bad im gonna turn in already so nights.

2010-04-17T00:05:00.004+08:00

it is scientifically proven that iron man's suit is do-able!
the world is really crazy!

hidden messages

2010-04-06T01:36:00.004+08:00

we are all subjected to subliminal messages everyday.
sex. satan. drugs. more sex. they are all subtly integrated into advertisements
and even cartoon shows meant for a 3 year old daily. media theorists around the world are still studying them even till today.
we are all living in a world where there is definitely more than what meets the eye.
it is 101% worrying and terrifying but it is true.
they are out there. they are seducing us. they will consume us.
we should really be afraid.

2010-03-29T17:31:00.013+08:00

happy 29th anniversary to my beloved parents

and just wanna share something so freaking funny (to me at least) with everyone.
hahaha! saw it on my news feed. seriously LOL.
(click on image to enlarge)

KUAKUAKUA!

!!!

2010-03-06T14:51:00.002+08:00

click on photo to enlarge.
can anyone tell me what in the world that is?
omg, is that china in disguise spying on me?!!
i didnt realize i was stress until recently. it is crazy i swear.
each time i on my laptop, i face like 10 over assignments.
worst semester BY FAR.

amazed

2010-02-27T01:06:00.005+08:00

beautiful... just beautiful.
it took my breathe away.

LOVE NATURE. LOVE MOTHER NATURE. SAVE THE EARTH.

2010-02-22T17:32:00.002+08:00

as mentioned in my twitter:
i feel like crying me a river.
75 snaps, 40 came out, 30 barely visual, 8 a complete mess, 2 perfect
and one of it has his face.

but i shall not give up. perseverance!
gonna look at khloes to see what shes got.
i want to be better if not the best.

why

2010-02-17T00:53:00.002+08:00

i wanna be new and different, everything im not.
i wanna be free and i ask myself why...
muster all courage, dont look back. do it.

FML

2010-02-09T21:52:00.005+08:00

murphys law: if anything can go wrong, it will.
today is the worst day i ever had in my entire school life. what could go wrong actually went wrong.
i have never felt such tremendous stress like this before.
how could anyone even want to steal my thumbdrive?
how could i dedicate my whole time for the past few days on an audio project only to have it
all washed down the drain like that?

i want to do this so badly. i want to do it good. i need this.
but why is this journey so full of obstacles?

if there is anyone out there who needs to say FML right at this moment, itd be me.

???

2010-02-01T23:15:00.004+08:00

technically, i am 21 but right at this moment i am just one tired and confused to the power of 10 kid.
really. but whatever. i am gonna hit the sack right now. yawns.

2010-01-29T21:18:00.002+08:00

this few weeks have been busy but it was great. i had fun in school.
i hope to get distinctions this semester. i have to really chiong man.
this is no good.

???

2010-01-25T23:08:00.005+08:00

hey, is it true about the earthquake that was predicted to happen here in singapore soon?
if so, i am gonna be so freaking worried for my two cats! ):

check out:
HERE
HERE and HERE
(there are more other websites too)

i understand that these few sites are totally NOT credible.
i just thought of sharing with you guys.
i did some research on google. there was a couple of websites saying about the same stuffs but
there was no proper sources at all so i find it quite hard to believe.
but then again, never say never...

may Allah be with us...

GREAT

2010-01-23T09:37:00.002+08:00

i dont have a tagboard and now i wonder if there are still anyone reading my blog.
you know it could be my regular friends or maybe someone secretly reading.
its hardly a month since the new year and i realised that alooooot of doors of opportunities have opened up for me. like placed on a plate. i am really thankful of every single new opportunities that came knocking on my door. i LOVE my life now. i love it so much i wouldnt trade anything for this! omg i think i can just faint right now!(:

sheer joy

2010-01-19T21:11:00.004+08:00

i swear i had the best week ever last week. there was SO MUCH to do. infact, this week has been
going great too. FRIDAY i cant wait. its gonna cost a bomb but at least i will feel HAPPY. debate
over, WE WON. i am so thrilled. i did not word-vomit or stammer or pronounce many words
wrongly like UBIQUITOUS. two consecutive weeks of pure joy. not forgetting i got a new job.
finally. a job that dont require me to befriend any colleagues. communicating with 'clients' should be
easier like WAY easier. i think i am gonna love this job.
FEBRUARY. EXCITEMENT ESCALATING(:

mosque, eclipse 2010

2010-01-17T00:57:00.005+08:00

DIVINE.

MIKO

2010-01-16T00:35:00.003+08:00

it is absolutely weird that even miko has a boyfriend now. he visits my house every single day without fail. if he doesnt come, miko would then stand on two, put her two front paws on the window grill, stick her head out and scream for him. like seriously SCREAM. hushing her is totally pointless as far as i could see because that would only make her scream louder and it is very very very funny to see her act that way. i tried to quieten her down by shooing her away from the window, but that move made me learn a thing about desperate cats - never try to shoo them away by placing your hands on their body and then nudging them.
she actually turned her head and hissed the hell out of her lungs at me!
kurang ajar punya binatang!

2010

2010-01-02T19:55:00.006+08:00

2010.
i understand that almost everyone if not all actually blogged about the new year, new resolutions,
new upcoming life, past accomplishments, past life story, past love, past regrets,
well this list goes on but then i ask, why?

the world that we are living in right now is cruel.
lifes are tainted. damaged, bruised, so tainted with war, poverty, famine, countless bloodbaths during elections, angry people, mobs, global warming, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions. disasters.
lost traditions, language, innocence, purity.
everyday people out there are dying when it isnt even their time to part to join the other world.
cosmetic damages like price injustified, countless taxes, escalating oil price, abrupt fluctuations of currencies values.

i tell you, the world today is crazy.

the world today

2009-12-25T23:36:00.005+08:00

the rich gets richer and the poor, poorer.
hot places get hotter, cold places are having the worst snowstorms.
dolphins are slaughtered for their meat, beached whales are increasing.
icebergs are melting, sea levels are rising.
boys turn into girls and girls, acting like boys.
days get shorter, time pass faster.
people getting smarter, technology constantly advancing.
science challenging religions. religions are even forgotten.
nature gone against, norms are altered.
what is happening to the world today?

i am afraid.

LENKA

2009-12-18T16:08:00.009+08:00

hehehehe i secretly took one of her props (SORRY. its already been displayed in my room.) and i was actually very worried one of the bouncers might catch me because i saw that one girl was asked to put it back on the stage when she took one! so anyway i was one of the lucky six or so who got her autograph (there was no autograph session sadly).
there was so much eye contacts! OMG FAINTS. i cant believe we could get so up close and personal with her. i mean i know she might not be THAT popular (yet) as many would say BUT at least i made my money totally worth it! i didnt have to pay like 150$ to 350$ to watch a concert from a big screen tv or maybe just standing/sitting SOMEWHERE near the stage. i was seriously THIS close to her. hahahhahaha. her performance was perfect, id say. not many singers could get this close to perfection while perfoming live. my only regret was not making her something. like a souvenir maybe):
all in all, it was worth every.single.cent.

lenka: okay guys.....
i want my money back! i want my money back! i want my money back! just enjoy the show.
i want my money back! i want my money back! iiii want my money back!
just enjoy the showwwww.......
(the most crazy mad happening part haha!)

vaseline

2009-12-16T00:45:00.002+08:00

the best solution for cracked lips. EVER.

2009-11-30T20:54:00.001+08:00

ITS SO CUTE I DIED

birthday week

2009-11-23T23:38:00.005+08:00

three birthdays in two weeks. two surprises. i am glad everyone had so much fun. well i did. i still cant believe aishah and yufang came over at midnight when i was like already on my bed since 11pm nak tidur! hahaha it was damn funny ah, like i was seriously sleepy already! then they were singing happy birthday outside my bedroom freaking loud! omg you girls! hahhaha, now that i am thinking of it, i still cant stop laughing. so apparently i spent my birthday alot with my family and those two girls. wani, id put your photo here too if we had took one. friends are forever! hehe. so all of us are older and wiser now(:

best two weeks ever. though i indulged most of my time in my assignments, going to the hospital, finding and making the perfect gifts, i had alot of fun too. and guess what? im going for a short holiday again this december! then soon, it will be 17th and shaaaa, ((((:

but then again, before all of that, i really have to continue with my assignments. seriously tak habis habis and then i still have to sit for an exam on the 14th. i have my fingers crossed now by the way, hoping for the best for my major essays grades! else, im screwed): because i hate setbacks and failures like that big time, i mean, who doesnt right. omg longwinded! bye bye for now!

birthday

2009-11-17T23:09:00.003+08:00

this has to be my best birthday ever eversince i hit teen.
twenty. soon, ill be twenty-one, then twenty-five, and then thirty. uh oh getting saggy there.
to those who remembered this insignificant birthday of mine, you know who you are,
thank you so much.

okay now that i am twenty, its time to act like one. not!
all the more i want to act younger now that im already at the peak of being a kid.
one more year. wow just one more year and im twenty-one. besar pe.

all good

2009-11-08T00:47:00.006+08:00

everything i was not.
now i have come to a point where i feel that i do not have to fight this inner battle anymore.
he moved my world and still does in so much more ways than you could ever imagine. im a wiser, better person. i have learnt so much things. small, nothing things to big, significant things. things that make me what and who i am now. oh well, such is the impact he had on me(: for the record, i am not ashamed of this break up. infact, i am glad. not over the fact that it happened but because he opened up my mind like how i did his.

chey! spoken like a true wise man!
anyway if you have been following me, you should know i actually dig those cheesy knock knock jokes. heres one!

knock knock.
whos there?
yodalahi.
yodalahi who?
hey man, why are you yodelling?

HAHAHA! omg this is funny! after the aitch-who.
good night!

2009-11-05T22:47:00.005+08:00

.....................

sorry whats that i cant hear you?

......................

could you speak louder?

LENKA IS COMING TO SINGAPORE

OMMMMMMMMMMMGG SHE SURE AS HELL IS COMING TO SINGAPORE!

meanwhile, ill just skipalong....

2009-11-05T00:09:00.003+08:00

i feel really bad towards you. like i have neglected you so badly in every ways possible. i dont even look at you. sometimes, no. make that most of the time, i totally forget about you. about your existence. and when i really do remember you, i dont even show you that i care. actually i do. you have been there for me for the past few years and i am so ashamed now that i realised i have taken you for granted. i guess it is better that you get someone new. someone better. maybe someone who will fully utilise you. my dear 1.5 curve baby.
so does anyone wanna buy my floorball stick?
hehehe.

what time is it?

2009-10-26T21:00:00.002+08:00

is 24 hours a day just too little or is it just that i have issues with time?
if having 48 hours a day is already impossible, why cant time pass slower then? so that at least it feels like it IS infact 48 hours instead of 24. but then again, wouldnt it be even much better if time has no figure? then my lecturer would be like 'okay class, hand in your assignment next week'. and then all of us would cheer because noone really knows when exactly is next week! best kan? or, no no. maybe at least having time like move. so. freaking. slowly. that we could actually count every millisecond!
okay wait.
i think i DO have issues with time.
serious one at that.

2009-10-25T23:23:00.001+08:00

one day i will...

OKAY

2009-10-21T18:09:00.003+08:00

i truly miss the times when we were in school
when we would sneak out of class to steal a kiss or two
now my heart just heaves at the thought of you
though i know ill be fine, it wont be anytime soon

i sound so vulnerable): things like this sure happen, only that if i knew, i wouldnt have started...

+++ vs - - -

2009-10-11T23:08:00.004+08:00

despite my very first time attaining such crappy marks in my entire school life, i still love school. i was badly demoralised that time. seriously)': but on the bright side? that only goes to show how low my previous (and maybe previous previous) schools standard was. that is probably why i have never received such lousy results back then before.

does it pays to be this positive all the time?
like you know that something is actually not good but you prefer to perceive it as something positive, looking at it in another light.
you know that things are already wrong but you still refuse to accept that fact and you try all means just to find a mere pinch of positivity so as to make you feel better.

i know the answer to my question...
it never pays to always be positive.

broken

2009-10-01T22:59:00.003+08:00

i ate humble pie, even placed it on a plate for you.

some time

2009-09-28T20:21:00.004+08:00

sorry whats my age again?

i cant believe just how quick time flies. i am one and a half months shy of turning twenty and nineteen to twenty could probably be the largest transition ever! a part of me leaps with joy but another part just refuse to accept it. as a result, now i live in denial of my true age with occasional flashes of reality. i think when i turn twenty five ill just faint.

anyway now i think i prefer having examination modules because these workloads are killing me! slowly but surely.

2009-09-22T23:33:00.002+08:00

boy: yitan.
5 seconds later
same boy: yitan.
another few seconds later
boy: (tapping on my shoulder) hey how should i address you?
me: (smiling) yanti.
boy: OH. i just called you yitan.

so school has been great by far apart from the piling assignments that more or less have been robbing me of my beauty sleep. its weird to be seeing people from all walks of life in my class and not really getting to know them well enough. like where does this girl come from? why does he speak that way? what is wrong with her dressing? and the likes. you know that kind of things.

2009-09-14T21:47:00.003+08:00

as already mentioned in jajas blog about relationships being compromised over different directions in life, i just cant help but to agree with her! seriously? i couldnt have said that any better myself. i wouldnt say everyone but MOST people tend to fall out with their loved ones when they enter a new transition in life, the TOUGHEST stage of a relationship id probably say. as time passes, youll argue, youll fight and youll tend to get carried away. carried away by your own temptations to hurt the person you regard as The One. but like ive said before, if your relationship is strong and well-built, you should know the key to a happy relationship - trust and loyalty... are You happy? (:

2009-09-11T23:52:00.001+08:00

ill take it day by day...

andai ku tahu.

2009-09-07T01:21:00.004+08:00

Andai kutahu
Kapan tiba ajalku
Ku akan memohon
Tuhan tolong panjangkan umurku

Andai kutahu
Kapan tiba masaku
Ku akan memohon
Tuhan jangan Kau ambil nyawaku

Aku takut
Akan semua dosa dosaku
Aku takut
Dosa yang terus membayangiku

Andai kutahu
MalaikatMu kan menjemputku
Izinkan aku
Mengucap kata taubat padaMu

Aku takut
Akan semua dosa dosaku
Aku takut
Dosa yang terus membayangiku

Ampuni aku
Dari segala dosa dosaku
Ampuni aku
Menangisku bertaubat padaMu

Aku manusia
Yang takut neraka
Namun aku juga
Tak pantas di syurga

Andai kutahu
Kapan tiba ajalku
Izinkan aku
Mengucap kata taubat padaMu

Aku takut
Akan semua dosa dosaku
Aku takut
Dosa yang terus membayangiku

Ampuni aku
Dari segala dosa dosaku
Ampuni aku
Menangisku bertaubat padaMu

i guess there are more things for me to worry about than those trivial matters which probably does nothing but inflict mental damage on me... more important things like the earthquake in indonesia, racial riots in china and stuffs like that. sometimes when i lay down to sleep and i watch the sky through my window, by God's grace, i realise just how small we really are in this world...
but of course, i feel truly blessed to be part of His creation..

p/s : the key to a happy relationship is trust and loyalty(':

2009-09-04T23:04:00.002+08:00

to those who gave me encouragement and more or less some comfort during my first day of school, THANK YOU. you know who you are. but frankly, now i feel so silly. then again, i am so thankful everything, everyday, have been going fine...
however, school aside, i am losing my head.

SIGHHHH

2009-08-27T13:58:00.004+08:00

everytime it struck me that monday is approaching, i get really really panicky. funny how i always get nervous and scared over the silliest thing): last night i couldnt sleep till like 7.30am only because i kept thinking of what will happen on monday. i couldnt stop myself from making up different scenarios and how i would react to them and bringing up so much what ifs. what is wrong with me sia! i am really putting myself under such tremendous stress that even the back of my necks aching like mad! its weird that my imagination will only start to run wild at night, as i lay to sleep. probably because theres nothing else on my mind. its robbing my sleep! goodness! truthfully, i feel so... dumb to be feeling THIS nervous): if there is anyone out there who needs comfort right at this moment, itd be me): ):
just so you know, monday is my first day of school. serious shit punya kental eh!

$$$

2009-08-21T21:25:00.003+08:00

i just gotta love this too! the black one cost SGD$130. now THAT is extravagant for a hairband. i am really not the materialistic kind of girl but i seriously cant deny that i am totally in love with that. the top ones fake hehe its inspired but it is still rockingly nice!

this is probably gonna make me seem like a money face but personally, i feel that money really can buy you happiness, though not in all aspects. obviously i am speaking of material wise. can you imagine the liberal feeling of having your own money to spend and pamper yourself with? especially so when you do not have your own family yet. the superior feeling over your own hard earned cash, wow. id probably throw money on the ground i walk upon haha. no lah thats exeggerating, seeing that i earn only like 300$ plus from my part time job lol. however the one thing that seriously turn me off are ingrates. i mean people who forget their parents when they have money. stupid people. these buggers ought to get knocked by a rock on their head because they forgot they owe their parents their whole frigging life.

2009-08-21T01:00:00.004+08:00

4203 managers.

tru dinner and dance actually wasnt as fun as i initially expected it to be. haha. maybe it would be more fun if 4207 was still around. but it still went okayyyy. one of the performances were rather provocative. i still cant accept the fact that i didnt win any lucky draw! i wouldnt feel this lousy if there were only 10 draws or what BUT its really like adding salt to my wound - 50 draws lor! ): ): seriously, i have never won a lucky draw in my entire 20 years of existence! ): WHY EH. i got bathe lor. hahhaha. as if things cant make me feel worser, 30% of the winners are from 4203! (there are 6 plus 1 branches in total) sigh, im missing work already): yesterday was my last day by the way.

to siti aishah : sorry about tonight.
to all my muslim friends, selamat berpuasa!
p/s : does anyone realise that my hair is WAVY! hehehehe.

2009-08-17T01:12:00.002+08:00

this picture seems to make me feel very empty just by looking at it. sometimes i get personally involved, or rather, deeply absorbed in emotions when i look at something, especially pictures. not that i am depressed right now or something. its just weird how pictures could work wonders in my emotions. (off to look at imrs pictures lol)

not very adaptable

2009-08-11T22:58:00.004+08:00

i cant believe even before i manage to fully adapt the changes in my life currently, i will be starting another one soon. really really really really soon as a matter of fact. i wish i was exaggerating, only im not): in a way, its like adding fuel to the fire or maybe salt to the wound well im not really sure which one is the most suitable idiom for now.

i wish i have peanut for brain instead. so i wouldnt think soo much, too much. so i would be more narrow-minded. so that i wouldnt always confuse my feelings with the truth or the truth with my feelings. damn! see how my words always go round and round? thats only because i have brain instead of peanut. and so i contemplate too much, even over the slightest thing and making easy, clear cut situations more complex than ever!

i wish i have more time in hand. say, maybe 10 days a week instead of the usual (and boring) 7 or maybe 42 hours a day or maybe even like there are no such things as calendars and clocks? and like we go around doing everything at our own pace. i can meet imr once every 2 weeks and NOT KNOW it really is fortnightly only because there are no such thing as keeping track of time?

actually the best thing i should wish for now is to get the best night sleep tonight.

close to perfection

2009-08-08T01:01:00.006+08:00

look at how ugly this picture is. its not proportionate. the angles are all so wrong. this picture could definitely be a million time better if not perfect. well only if i were to centralise the hut abit more and maybe use a more professional lens.
most of the times, we hope so much for something to be perfect in every way, sometimes even inhumanly possible. so much that we tend to be blinded by our own feelings that we hurt others without even realising it. the yearn for perfection is so great even when deep inside, we know we can never achieve that. but why so? why do we lead and allow ourselves to believe in perfection only to be disappointed not once or twice okay, but over and over again?
i guess i am like that now. but that goes to show i am only human though i know thats probably not the best excuse ever.

2009-08-06T23:49:00.001+08:00

the best way to lose something?
WANT IT VERY MUCH.

live, dont forget to laugh, Love.

ME

2009-07-31T21:12:00.002+08:00

i NEED to get a better camera. $$$.

paranoid

2009-07-30T01:21:00.002+08:00

i am worried.
here i am, almost getting the chance to pursue my lifelong dream but still feeling devastatingly worried over the outcome before i even start): what if i have to spend ten of thousands over dollars just to realise i do not have the talent? what if this dream i have always envisioned myself to be in, to be real, is infact, really just a dream? i cant help being such a pessimist):

honey stand by me

2009-07-27T00:48:00.003+08:00

that film on the right, its a goner i think because i did something terribly silly!
anyway theres a shop which does cross processing at clementi, sunset way. the price is about the same as the one at bencoolen - 6$ to 8$ - for scanning to a cd. now thats good news for the west siders!

time check : 12.51am. i cant get to sleep!
hmm, thats about another 3 hours and 9 minutes to someone to something something later this morning!

p/s : ill be patient(: for you((:

2009-07-23T23:42:00.009+08:00

i have only tried the cinnamon melt ONCE and that was only a bite which my friend secretly fed me while i was working. so i couldnt really pay much attention to the taste. hmm and that was about 2 weeks ago? so anyway last night, i was craving for it so my family and i went to mcd BUT there was no stock): anddddd today, my friends told me that the promotions over)':

i almost missed my stop today cos i slept in the bus to work. i was rudely awoken by the lady sitting beside me because she wanted to alight. i was kinda pissed, well, only till i realised it was my stop too so i quickly scrambled off my seat. in a way, she saved me from walking a distance if i were to really miss the stop.

so anyway! thats my locker! theres geoffrey the giraffe, paper crane, some stuffs i 'kop' from the capsule machine guy. notes. and monsters inc! no. 39. thats was my jersey no. when i played for youths! and hey, isnt that wanis no. now? (if im not mistaken)

good night for now!
p/s : tak boleh tau, asyik lupa nak check tie-fighter :P

p/p/s : just so you know, i havent been logging in to facebook eversince that first (and last) night i actually finally logged in and played with the floorball girls. hehehhehehhe. speaking of which, i miss my (lousy but rocking) team! ):

zzzz

2009-07-15T18:36:00.003+08:00

recently, ive been having difficulties sleeping. i think its been almost a month. i could already be on my bed at 11pm or so and still be awake to hear the 1am chime on my clock downstairs. its really frustrating. now i know how my friend felt last time when he said he couldnt sleep almost every night. sometimes it got really bad i just have to text someone and so i begin typing on my phone but always ended up not sending it. haha. just what is it with me?

but the one thing that makes this more frustrating altogether is when i have to work the next day. it becomes very stressful because i know i have to, no, i need to sleep right NOW but i just cant. its not that i am not tired. infact i am but my mind just cant sync with my body. and the next day, i wake up feeling so groggy, tired and SLEEPY. macam bodoh gitu kan. and also, these days i have always been sleeping in the bus on my way to work. somehow i always get lucky and wake up 2 or 3 stops before my stop.
i guess in just a different way than i expected, Allah is indeed answering my prayers by helping me with my insomnia problem by 'waking' me up before i really miss my stop.

flrbl

2009-07-14T20:26:00.003+08:00

ugh i miss my baby! not that it is not here with me but i miss floorballzxzxzzz. ive read diary of a wimpy kid and darn! was it so good!

revelation

2009-07-11T21:59:00.010+08:00

LONGEST ENTRY EVER

to start with, i Love blogging.
not only do i regard it as a tool to fill up my free time, it also provides me with a means of virtual escape from the real (cruel) world. when i am happy, i blog and the joy multiplies. when i feel down to the pits, i blog and i feel v much better with a load off my chest, or should i say, my wrecked heart. as a matter of fact, blogging is not the only tool i assumably rely on to let things out. i write alot too. and when i say alot, i really mean countless sheets of papers, or rather, countless of trees are sacrificed to just provide me with the supply of papers i need to pen.

i am bad with words. most of the times i want to say something serious to anyone, it comes out weird. bad with verbal expressions, id say. when i try so hard to speak my heart, i will end up crying. and thats why most of the times when i get so frustrated, so disappointed or so upset, i always keep quiet. which is bad. when i do so, people tend to step on my head, thinking ive got no stand of my own or that im just purely petty. i am only human. theres a limit to my patience, as cliche as it sounds. time and again, i always restraint myself from bursting. sometimes, i had to hold myself so hard ill start to cry. and that is stupid. to cry over the littlest thing.

writing is the most perfect solution for people like me. i am technically 20 and i still own a personal journal. i basically write about anything and everything, especially matters of the heart. after writing, i always feel more comforted, in a way noone could do to me. like magic, it calms me down, well, almost if not entirely. writing keeps me sane when i am lost and confused. when i write, i build my world around myself. at the end of it, whatever that caused me to start writing, seems to lose its superiority and that makes me feel good. i pat myself on my back for managing my feelings so well though it could not always be the right method to adopt. writing makes me think rationally. the aftermath of it is usually good. i could hate someone so much while i write and still cry at the same time altogether but after that i end up Loving that person more if not less.

everyone have a dream.
some work for it and exist it. others back away then disregard it. there are some who keep quiet and bring it along with them for the rest of their life as an entity. me, i am the last of the three. you can feel it. i know myself best. i know this dream ive always had were never meant to be. infact, i have many dreams. be it in material or emotions.

i have no idea as to why this sudden entry. maybe because of the voices im hearing? im not crazy, its probably the work of angels and devils. i am sorry if anyone was offended, it was unintended.

2009-07-11T01:33:00.003+08:00

im hearing voices in my head and what does it say?

time

2009-07-10T01:13:00.007+08:00

in life, there are always new things to look forward to. sometimes if youre lucky, it could be what you have always been secretly wishing for. otherwise, it could somehow be an entirely different thing which catches you by surprise, whether pleasant or not. changes happen all the time, like it or not. so well, just suck it up. as much as i hate changes, i have to always learn to readapt.
to be truthful, i never really like the changes in my life now): but if that is really the way how things work, i guess i just have to learn to like it.
why must it be 24 hours a day? why cant it be like 48? but then again, even if it were really 48, id ask for 72): human are a really difficult object to please. i dont deny i am. but whatever it is, why must it be 24 hours? there are like so much stuffs to do, to catch up, but so little time):
most of the times, we see ourselves rushing. to eat, to wash up, to walk to the mrt, to walk the short distance home from the bus stop, to even text. i miss so many people. i need more time. can you not work anymore imr? omg what selfish thoughts i have!): ): ):
if only we live in a world freed from the constraints of time.
still, ilhvvm(':

2009-07-07T00:49:00.008+08:00

because we kick ass like that!
(we are the best people gizzy and chowster could have ever 'met')

F21

2009-07-03T00:03:00.003+08:00

mannnnn i really dig this shoe! its awesomezxzxxz!

<3

2009-07-01T22:40:00.005+08:00

today is like a good day(: despite staying home the whole day and feeling bored to the max. and having to control a couple of sudden pangs of hunger. watched telly alot and i really dont know how many million times i saw the kfc banditto adverts. guess what? that really nailed me big time and im eating it right now! speak about not being able to virtually type and eat at the same time.
i am happy for imr. being the good and loyal girlfriend i am (ahem), i will give him my endless support!
AWW tear-jerking gitu kan!

this is good/bad

2009-06-30T21:44:00.007+08:00

i was stucked on some codes when my bro came home from work. that means help is just a call away and what took me an hour to figure took him only a fiver to solve. told ya before programmings not my kind of thing. that is besides the point. well the point is i have got a new skin (yay) and im pretty much happy with it buahahha >:)

cupids. says:
tu ah
mj mati kesian eh?

sha! a limit says:
tu ar
somewer deep inside i feel its best for him ar
mcm org kutok2 die and all

cupids. says:
deep inside?

sha! a limit says:
semangat nie ckp with feelings

i think i can go crazy anytime soon now because kakak keeps playing mjs songs over and over again. if its not youtube, shed be downstairs on mtv - tribute to mj. seriously, kuat lagi. earth song, omgd!

2009-06-29T15:41:00.004+08:00

bed, books, comics, staring at the ceilings, tv, toilet, unfinished food, medicine, tissues, newpapers, cats, porridge, lozenges, naps, more tissues, text messages, phonecalls, pillows, MJs, cancelled plans, replacements, and more tissues, lenka, lily allen, writing, staring out the window, lie beside miko, re-read smses, aching bones, useless, bored, hot (stupid weather), hbos, lungs-killing coughs...
tell me itll get better.

2009-06-28T19:25:00.002+08:00

gotta love this ring!

railway

2009-06-21T22:32:00.008+08:00

a clumsy attempt to take photos at an abandoned railway. haha. the result was atrocious, sadly ): and oh did i mention how hideous the surrounding was? mothernature has obviously overworked (and plus no human maintenance.) the whole place was a wrecked! eh obviously eh? its an ABANDONED track right. lol. the railway track which unfortunately was our main purpose for the visit was hardly noticeable ):
nonetheless i still had tons of fun with siti aishah!
(make sure seatbelt on eh!)

OKAY YAY IMRAN IS COMING BACK TOMORROW :B

happy birthday, my Love.

2009-06-19T23:00:00.003+08:00

18th June, happy birthday dear imran!

polaDroid

2009-06-16T16:58:00.009+08:00

hmm i think i spent over an hour doing this just so my walls dont look too bare. dont you think the polaroids look so real? haha well its not. i totally dig the idea of hanging up photos that way. stole this quirky idea somewhere in the net. nyeheheh. i was lucky ive got all the materials needed to satisfy my sudden inspiration!(:

and this one above, was yufangs idea... kuakuakua. shes got some quaint ideas running in her head man! so it was with her help that i got this up like 2 months back i think. we did lots of arrangements and more rearrangements okay! anyway i bought a helmet and goggle. omg whats it called. i have really not the slightest idea. haha.
hmm its almost 5.30pm = the simpsons on hallmark!
to honey : i feel sorry that you cant watch it :P haha but then again, so what eh? got wtso. lol.
woohoo thursday thursday thursday thursday thursday!(: (:

cityhall!

2009-06-07T00:49:00.002+08:00

DIY

2009-05-27T23:06:00.003+08:00

yay! at exactly 7.36pm, this clock went up the wall. i actually spent like 3 hours on this.
okay this is embarrassing. i just realised i have been posting entries for consecutively 3 days/: well thats because i am not working! but starting tomorrow... its a different story. work resumes): so anyway graduation is like in 2 days time and i am so scared to walk up the stage. damn i know i could probably be the one and only stupid person in this universe to have the silliest fears ever)':
i cried on my first day of work, i am afraid to walk along my corridor alone at night, if i have to go to the loo in the middle of the night...id rather hold it. if my cats stare at blank space, omg i will definitely siam from there sia. and now this. i know its stupid maybe because its like only a 10 seconds or maybe lesser thing? walk, shake hands, take the cert, smile smile and off. i should stop being like this. go haryanti!

kiasu

2009-05-26T20:34:00.004+08:00

i think its really embarrassing that most singaporeans do not really understand the standard operating procedure while boarding the train. relax la! alamak apa mahu lari... bloody irritating lor. its really frustrating when these kiasuism kicks in. and even more so when its the peak hour and everyone is already feeling so tired and just want to get home. i think these people really need to go attend some kind of crash course on how to board the train properly. the next time i wanna alight and if someone try to bang his freaking way past me, ill see that he is gonna get some saliva spit on his face lor because i am so gonna cough out loud without covering my mouth right smack at that buggers face!

boring

2009-05-25T23:54:00.002+08:00

i feel like living in it!! omg this is like my dream toilet! with this i seriously dont mind showering all day long till i turn into a wrinkled prune! the first hotel with the best toilet ive ever stayed in man haha.

ada ke patut si gemuk ni!?!

anything im not....

2009-05-20T23:19:00.003+08:00

i really think that blogging is by far the greatest tool to kill boredom. most of the times when i am bored, i munch. and when i say munch, im speaking of sinful food which could probably rob me of my good health if taken once too often (note : i feel bored almost all the time). so blogging is good because you cant practically type and eat at the same time, can you?

i am supposed to be checking for some important numbers online and go off but damn. i just came across some stuffs which got my attention big time and i cant not comment.

schooless kids at the age of 13-18 having unprotected sex and getting pregnant and still think its okay. omg i am in shock! this is like a kid tooting another kid and giving birth to a kid! omg i am disgusted. i shall not disclose any names but seriously, its very easy with a few clicks and google. infact they are so open with it, describing their lives and linking each other up. all the teenage mothers of the world unite? god. actually i have nothing against them, being brave and holding responsibility, its very much commendable. but what happens if they have no proper education, no financial support then what in the world were they thinking? no good certificate, no high income, fine, go ahead and argue accidents do happen. then thats too bad, you chose it, you bear the consequences. tell me 10 years down the road if youre really satisfied with what you have, watching people climb higher while you struggle just to put bread on the table. ultimately your child is gonna suffer. money is real. especially when youre feeding a kid. especially when youre in singapore.

when i was 16 i was still running around running and playing like nobodys business okay. omg. pregnant and happy about it. tsk this is just insane. can you imagine me going to my secondary 3 kid sisters baby shower and giving her a baby hamper? omggg ridiculous lor. im just quoting an example. i dont even have a kid sister. omg this is totally absurb. what irked me more was when i once saw this mother screaming at her kid full of profanities. i dont usually curse but i seriously hope the kid will do the honour of returning her the sweet favour by screaming shits at her when shes old and useless. omg i just cant stop thinking about it. and smoking too? damn dont even let me get started on that.

fucking disappointed!

2009-05-20T00:39:00.005+08:00

everytime when somebody needs a favour, they turn into a seriously nice person. how not to say yes to them? wait. in the first place, i am not the kind of person to say no to a favour unless its beyond my abilities to help them. it doesnt matter seriously, regardless of how big or ridiculously small the freaking favour is, i always try to help. but what good does it do to me? what? feeling of self-satisfaction for having to satisfy that persons needs or wants?

im really happy, thankful and appreciative towards those who also lend a helping hand when i need one. but unfortunately, some of them couldnt really careless about me when i need help. it is actually alright if you already dont wanna do a favour for me but it is not anymore when you start to accuse me of being lazy like WTF! and most of the time when that happens, i feel really hurt. like really really hurt to the core urghhhh.
this heart is not made of steel. how disappointed i am right now, you will never know.

i think its true what they say about one never appreciating what they have until its gone.
and should that day come, i will never regret every second of it. because such is the impact you just left on me today.

8th of may 2009

2009-05-08T10:48:00.005+08:00

" youre the north on my compass.
youre the silver lining in my cloud. "

2009-05-02T01:12:00.007+08:00

chey chey chey, nyehehe ^^ i am like still not really over the kom-kom thing and there i was, watching congkak earlier. im doing me more harm than others am ): plus plus plus every single person in my family wont be home tomorrow night. HOW. omgd i am 20, and i am still afraid of stupid stuffs ): no. its unknown stuffs )): i dont like anything that is deep and scary. sometimes it gets so bad, i wish i am ignorant. but no, i think so much to the expense of my own good. then i will become a burden to some people. like muhammad imran. who also never help much actually. because he will keep saying the kom-kom name!! tak baik oi.

anyway, bersusah payah, nak simpan bangs. then now lily allen has got long fringe like i did last time! WHY EH. i miss school so much! speaking of which, i just remembered my stuffs are still with my crappy fyp supervisor! woohoo! it is like 1.13am now and i am not asleep. this feels so good(: i hate working! if not for the money (though meagre still), i would never have gotten my lazy butt off my comfrotable bed! why cant my life be a bed of roses.

why must life be so short and fragile. stupid swine flu! let this fatal virus be a huge proof to pork-eaters that pigs ARE indeed dirty! dirty, for hosting those deadly virus! bleargh. i understand that it comes from humans and chickens. right? humans too kan? but those pigs are hosts! sorry to those who are offended with this (referring to pork-eaters)

p/s : 8th of may friday the 13th tau.

2009-04-26T12:01:00.008+08:00

yesterday spelt beautiful(:

you know, i am like so brainwashed by my friends and even muhammad imran about this kom-kom thing. it sounds stupid but it really scares me big time, especially when i am walking at the corridor. suddenly the place feels so haunted/: and not safe anymore): my manager even said it is still around now! omgd. at first i thought it will only come in the night time but imran said it will appear even in the late afternoon! damn.

p/s : wissy! kalau da bersalah.

how quick

2009-04-24T00:03:00.005+08:00

most of the times i feel like going away but the more i think of it, the more i feel that youre the one and only comfort zone i really want. why eh, i have never felt this way before. anyway i am like kinda busy making big bucks ^^
hehe i am wtso-ing abit. trying episode 20. omgd it feels so good to sleep late tonight for once!! byebye for now!

longest ever

2009-04-09T18:17:00.006+08:00

hi, hehe, here i am again(: this stupid wound on my hand has turned into a really thick scab but i am afraid to peel it, lest it bleeds. i really really really do not wish to go malacca tomorrow))): why why why must i! i am so brave,(: i watched vacancy by myself earlier on hbo.

thanks to muhammad imran, i wtso-ed for awhile, before i got bored again. read the papers *ehem*. my heart goes to the 2 families of the food poisoning victims. one minute, you are happily indulging in what happened to be the most delectable rojak in singapore and the next, you are practically clinging on to dear life): life is such a fragile thing, sadly. if only i knew whether the dead have lived their life to the fullest. some have the choice, majority do not have the choice but to take the outstretched hands of death. so grimy. would anyone cry for me if i die? ): death. the thought of it send shivers down my spine. it is such a mysterious thing. now that i am speaking of death, i miss my old cat puffy, the black beauty. he is gorgeous and he left us in year 2000. why why why, must you jump off the window - i know this makes me look like such an irresponsible pet owner, but its not my fault - that stupid mother @#&!-ing bird was mocking puffy. ill get you soon you stupid birdie!!!

for now, i should really treat myself and those around me good. no, good is an understatement. is there a better statement than 'treat me and them good'? now, that is beside the point. the point is, i should live my life to the fullest. my dad always say :

'tuntutlah ilmu seolah-olah akan hidup seribu tahun.
sembahyanglah seolah-olah akan mati esok hari.'

erm, seek knowledge as if you can live a thousand years, pray as if youre dying tomorrow.
hahhahhha. shuddup, i know. no link, the study part. but the whole point is, live to your fullest lah kan! hahhahaha. life is too short to be getting angry over the slightest thing *ehem*. learn to laugh at yourself, though not all the times, later feelings hurt how. berpada-pada. haha is that the right word. anyway, live laugh love!(((:

for now, i should practice what i preach!
hahhaa, are you still reading till here? thanks eh(: be happy! anyway the picture above, if you realised there are like 2 little characters by the side. introducing : gizmo and chowchow!

p/s : tak boleh tau! :P

show it.

2009-04-08T23:54:00.003+08:00

my latest companion? migraines and aching bones.
i think it is really time for me to calm down, compose myself, but of course, by sleeping everything and basically anything off(: it works wonders, miracles, as a matter of fact. all i have to do is to constantly remind this sensitive meself :
never allow anyone to come in between me and an already great day.
even if it means project runway to a mere tenner.

anyway should there be anyone who wants to speak ill of me infront of me, or maybe slightly behind my back, which means within audible distance, and in mandarin at that, please ah, try harder. because i so totally know what you are saying. you people are such an ass sometimes. no. make that most of the times.

on a brighter note!
as probably already mentioned, a great day, today was cool(: i am proud of that, despite the name-callings, petty fights, demanding massages and of course the most wonderful award winning one, slappings. sigh yai yai, dont be wicked okay. anyway i like your hair short like that(: (i am supposed to be angry with you now you know) speaking of hair, i have a problem with my hair. a stupid and embarrassing problem infact. stay with me, stay with me. in a month time, its photobooth, you better stick to your words.

if only this world is freed from horrible asswipes!
itd definitely be a better place to live in...

p/s : i Love you.